http://www.dannisms.com Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:37:38 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I don't think my big toe gets enough credit.  It's big, it's bulbous, and it's a toe.   That's pretty good as far as I am concerned. Unlike my other toes, my big toe saved my life once.   I was walking down my street on a hot summer day back ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/08/23/ode-to-my-big-toe/ I have a girlfriend who tells me her husband doesn't even need deodorant. I'm not sure what kind of freak of nature he is, but I've needed deodorant since I was eleven, and I was a late bloomer on all other fronts. (There may be a pun in there, and ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/08/18/armpit-detox/ It's been a while since I've been able to blog on my own time.  Is it because I'm watching too much NFL Network?  Maybe.  Is it because I've been hanging out on book-related social networks?  Perhaps.  Is it because I've been contemplating things beyond the comprehension of mankind?  Most likely. Or ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/07/07/been-a-long-time/ What's more? The honey bees are dying, which means lots of crops won't get pollinated. I'm starting to sound like a real environmentalist, but the plain truth of the matter is, I really, really like cherries, and almonds, and honey, and I simply don't want to live without these things. Okay, ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/07/06/heard-a-lotta-buzzin/ Of course, we're all paranoid about this tomato situation. No sandwich is quite the same, every salsa is suspect. First they said it was tomatoes grown in certain states, and now they're thinking it might have to do with a warehouse instead. Whenever something like this happens, I start to wonder ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/06/29/tomato-conspiracy/ Even though bananas come from an asexual plant, it doesn't mean they're not sexy.  I mean, look at them.  Peel back the skin and taste the sweetness with your tongue. I started hearing all these rumblings about how we've been cloning bananas for so many years that one day they were ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/05/10/yes-we-have-no-bananas/ I was reading on About.com's Genealogy blog on how the Vatican has ordered dioceses worldwide to stop Mormons from photographing genealogy records held by the Catholic church. Kimberly writes: "One of the core tenets of Mormon faith is that the dead can be baptized into the Church to offer them the opportunity ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/05/06/the-spiritual-battle-for-your-decayed-corpse/ http://www.dannisms.com/2008/04/30/get-ready-to-rock/ Normally, I'm not one for advocating consumerism.  In fact, as religions go, I think consumerism is right up there with technology as one of the fastest growing religions in modern times. But, I'm going to make an exception this time around and say something I thought I would never say:  It's ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/04/29/whatcha-gunna-buy-with-the-phat-government-cash/ So, crazy former president Carter goes down and meets with those Hamas peeps. Specifically, he met with the big chief, Khaled Mashaal. Now, we all know that Jimmy Carter has wild ideas that include things like "peace" and other crazy notions. That's why he won one of them there Nobel ... http://www.dannisms.com/2008/04/24/hypocracy-much/